Conflict of Personalities

You are a free bird

I am so tame

You are laughing cracker

When I am lame

You say you love me the most

Still I am barely out of the frame

There is always someone lurking around

To lit my insecurities aflame

You talk so much

Tell me, ask me, as attention-seeker is my birth name

I don’t have stories or friends or ambitions

That’s why I misbecame

You are tornado of happenings

I am slow, so totally out of game

Baby, girl, match the pace

And, stop the rame

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Things Love Make You Do Sometimes

Oh, how i have started hating hearing cars from my window?! The building tension on approaching car, and the dejection and saddness and even frustation while it fades away. How the world is so depressingly quite and at some point i used to peep out of my window to look at the city sleeping and find it astonishingly calming. How the tables have turned. Why do i ask?! Why do i wait?

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Every Now And Then

How lit my eyes are

How cold my feet are

What’s this that creeps in

Peeping out sometime

The calls call

To be pulverized away

It’s my baby too

The one mum likes to disown

How heavy headed my head is

How lame my heart is

Whats this that clucks away

Scrubbing the back

Clenching the eyes shut

Open up, enact, bring into being

Its me

Your mum

The one you unwant

Me too

I, too, disdain you

I too

I am

You too

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A Woman’s Insecurity

The awful taste in mouth each time I realize how a man’s world out there is so different, biased and free-er. When will I learn to accept it and okay with it?! Any time soon?!

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Lonely Nights

I have a lover

I have many beloveds

I have had too many friends too

But many a times

Lonliness still stings

But this time, I went to my old self, to seek comfort and company. A page dating five years back. How astonishingly I am relating to it even now! Oh, I haven’t aged. I thought I have grown up. I am way more emotionally matured and in control. But, no, there come bouts, when everything kept at bay, comes flooding in and then there is nothing to do then, except; suffering. Suffer. Make it pass. Then smile again. And laugh. Kid yourself. And others.

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Dearest Life

Honeymoon

The euphoria

And the peace

Slowly steadily and intimately

Embracing

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On Reaching Out and Not Reaching Out

We don’t understand the worries of our parents. We judge them so harshly. We complain of the aloofness. Despite their concerns and care, we still feel detached. But there is this group afar. We try to extend our hands in longing. We speak, scream and sometimes call silently as well. Hear us. Hear me. Or may be sing me your song. Our calls are same lame and mundane things. Grass is definitely greener there. No?! We desire. Then we don’t want to admit it as well. Desiring a companionship or a lover or subjecting the self to devour passions or getting acknowledged, being owned, want to claim, even win, all those glorious careers, domesticity, emotional intimacy, guards, masks; we like or dislike or live or want to unlern these all and many more. But why the denail? Who do we have to prove we are better on ourselves if not only the dear self?! We fear bondage. And yet we want to be. Then we deny. Yeah, damn right, we are independent. Bleh. Evading all things and every body is not independence. There is no running away any where. The ‘self’ and the ‘fate’ always got each other, like two inseparable best friend forever types.

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