A Homebound Man

A homebound man
With an eager heart
And lit eyes
Actually anticipating
To be a homebound man
But home is not the home for him.
Home lies
Somewhere out and about
One do not force anyone
One do not call anyone
If it has to be coerced
Its not home

Home

This is my home
But this is not my daughter’s home
But is this really my home?
Do I have any home?
Where is home?!
What is home?!

Catharsis

How things have changed
Talking and telling
Does not do any good
It is just a formality
Remember when things were otherwise
I was so naive and innocent
Even myself does not recognize past self
But that too was myself
What is self?!
The mystery
Juvenile one

Pursuance

What is your happy place?!
Where is your cave?!
Where does your lingering heart take you?!
What do your eyes await?!
Where does your feet drag you along?!
Who do you cling to?!
Who rocks you to sleep?!
Who lets you cry?!
Who can wipe your tears?!
Who can pacify your sobbing screams?!
Who can quell the unrest of soul?!
Its You!
You!
You!
But who is your You?!
And mine?!

Legacy

So many unprecedented thoughts
No one to share to
My diaries are my only friend
My only asset
When I die
They will speak
Unspoken

For What’s Worth It

Where is peace?
My mama would have loved me the same way. She would have hoped from me the same way. I can not love my daughter enough with out professing my love for my own mother. But why so late?!

Where is friendship?
Best friends are hard to get by. One is lucky if one got one. The one that makes talking all the worthwhile. I assumed I had many.  But that was a different era and a whole different person.

Where is intimacy?
When we are on a same page without forcing or conditioning anything. When there is truth in between, without any fear. One does not have to make an effort to make things understandable. Who do you talk to late at night? When whole world shuts down?

Freedom

You can not
Coax me now
I am not there
With you
I am my own coccon
I am my own hell

Waiting

*

*

Whenever

He goes

Leaving me behind

I want to go

Too

*

*

Happy Valentine’s Day, World!

I have put on my lipstick
I have even back combed my hair
Now I must try to sleep
But I wont be able to
Getting excited for the trivial shit is stupid in itself
And I am a stupid girl
What do he do
He has got world to see
And attend
He is busy man
Its me only
Who is a hopeless romantic
Who is a stupid romantic

On Missed Opportunities

I missed a friend

I lost a friend

We were close

And then we were not

I mourn yet again

Like I always do

For missed opportunities

I always seek

And I missed

What was there

Do I have to keep knocking

At doors closed

Like always

And lament

Like I do

Just like now

Do you understand?

My loss?

My bad luck?

My karma?

Will I learn?

Ever?!